Everyone has their pet peeves when it comes to the office break room. It’s one place all coworkers have to share but still expect to have their space and their lunch in peace .We here at MyCorporateHell.com have decided to compile a list of some of the biggest break room offenders. Every office has someone if not everyone from this list stroll in to disturb that elusive tranquility we all so desire while we scarf down our flavorless frozen meal of the day. If you can’t relate to anyone on this list then you may be one of them.

The Coffee Bandit

This has to be the biggest peeve to ever grace a break room. This is the idiot that consumes the last drop of caffeinated bliss from the coffee pot leaving only that burnt empty coffee pot smell permeating the air throughout the office. This person has no idea how this can effect your whole day as for some this is the only fuel they have to get moving on a Monday.

If there were only a way to install iron doors that slam shut once the pot is empty forcing the bandits to make a fresh pot before being released....

The Vending Machine Life Choice

Sometimes your vending machine snack can be the toughest choice of the day. Once those two quarters hit the vending slot the race is on to pick the perfect snack. There is a fine line between the effects of vanilla wafers vs. cheese doodles. Each can send your day into a totally different direction BUT for some workers this becomes the most important decision of their entire life. They will stand in front of the machine shifting from side to side on the verge of a panic attack over this decision. They already have one quarter in the machine so there is no turning back now. As usual you continue to resist the urge to reach out and punch A-1 just to end their pain so you can get your damn Cheetos and get on with it.

The Microwave Casserole

This is what you end up with when 50 people have nuked their frozen food wannabe meals into oblivion one after the next. This results in leaving a plethora of indistinguishable sights and smells to exude from the fireless box of heat for all to enjoy. The up side is this also makes for a good diet plan if you happen to be last in line for the microwave.

The “What the hell is he eating!” Guy

Every office has that one guy that brings in some sort of leftovers which will leave the break room smelling like ass for the next 5 hours. He arrives with his little clear Tupperware bowl so everyone gets equal chance to figure out what this monstrosity could possibly be. To this day no one one knows and no one will ask.

The Popcorn Burner

We all know there is nothing better than the smell of hot buttery popcorn snaking it’s way through the office. On the other side of the coin there is nothing worse than the smell of BURNT popcorn snaking it’s way through the office. There always seems to be that one guy or gal that can’t quite EVAR get his timing right on fireless box of heat resulting in that wonderfully delightful scorched popcorn smell for all to enjoy at least once a day. Someone needs to tell this person that the popcorn button on the microwave never really works.

The Donut Pusher

This is the skinny and or indifferent to their weight person that always brings in the irresistibly tasty donuts 8 days a weeks and sets them right in the middle of your hourly path to the coffee pot. This person clearly has no regard for the fact that you have no willpower whatsoever and could not possibly just walk right past a double twist cream filled cinnamon covered pure sugar dipped pile of donuts. We hate you donut pusher!

The Trash Can Crime Scene

Everyone has experienced walking into the break room only to have your senses assaulted the second you cross the threshold like a brick in the face. What the hell is that smell?? You know it’s coming from the trash can but you just can’t bring yourself to look. You come to the conclusion that you must be working with a closet Jeffrey Dahmer because nothing but a dead body could possibly smell that bad. And to think... Just moments ago someone was eating that.

The Interrupter

This one really needs no description but we’ll give it a go anyway. So your sitting there minding your own business eating your lunch and reading the classifieds or the sports section of your local paper when you get:

The Interrupter: “What’s up?” Ya readin!?”

You: “Yeah.. Yeah... I’m readin...” (Yeah, you were reading a great article on last nights game you missed... But not now!)

The Interrupter: “What ya readin?”

You: “Huh.. Oh..just the sports section” (You are attempting to keep the answers short to avoid advancing the conversation)

The Interrupter: “Cool.. Did you see our team won last night...” ( The Interrupter goes on to spoil your good read by telling you everything you were trying to read in the article about the same game therefore leaving you no reason to finish your article)

Everyone hates this guy! Our advice is to pick a standard answer that could in no way insight a conversation with The Interrupter. Use a subject that could not possibly be of interest to this guy. Then maybe your conversation could go a bit more like this.

The Interrupter: “What’s up?” Ya readin!?”

You: “Yeah.. Yeah... I’m readin...”

The Interrupter: “What ya readin?”

You:  “Oh.. A great article on the elemental concepts of string theory and quantum physics.”

The Interrupter:  “Oh?.........well... Se ya!”

The Interrupter moves on and you have your lunch in peace.

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