Typically most of us when having to use a public restroom would opt for a
sensory deprivation tank if we could. There is nothing worse than sharing
your potty time with others. It’s such a personal experience and wasn’t meant
to be shared or witnessed by others. Don’t you feel a little embarrassed if
someone sees you going in to or out of a restroom? Doesn’t it feel like you’re
doing something wrong, like when you hid behind the couch as a child and
dirtied your diaper. So with all that why does it have to be made worse by a
bunch of strangers with poor restroom habits?

Here is a quick list of the top restroom offenders as we at My Corporate
Hell see it.

 
The Sink Hydronater:
Ever wonder why everything in the restroom is wet when you go in? The Sink
Hydronater is the person that always seems to get water all over the sink
and floor in the restroom. They never clean it up, making you wonder if it is
just water or some bodily fluid.

The Toilet Talker:
This is the person that either stands next to you at a urinal or sits in a
stall and tries to carry on a conversation with you. Don’t they know that
there is no talking in a restroom?

The Toilet Caller:
This is the person that either stands next to you at a urinal or sits in a
stall and tries to carry on a conversation on a cell phone. The whole time
they're talking, you’re hoping and praying they drop in.


The Personal Space Invader:
This is the person that tries to open the stall when you’re using it.
Doesn’t everyone look for shoes before choosing a stall? What ever happened
to the courtesy knock on the door?

The Stall Stalker:
This is the person that looks under the stalls to see if anyone is using
them, and then mentions later that they recognized your shoes from earlier
in the restroom. This restroom conversation usually happens in the cafeteria
line, which the Stall Stalker knows is the best time to talk about using the
restroom.

The Writer:
This is the person that feels the need to write on the stalls and walls in
the restroom. Why are people so angry or horny when they’re taking a shit?

The Aimer:
This is the guy that thinks he can pee in a toilet without lifting the lid.
He always forgets about the shake at the end. This is an amateur urinary
mistake. It always winds up on the seat.

The Allocator:
This is the person that opens a new roll of toilet paper and sits it on the
floor or on the back of the toilet even though there is already a roll on
the spool. This person wants you to have just that many more choices. Only
you typically won't use it after they set it on the floor.

The leaner:
This is the guy that has to put his hand on the wall above his head and lean
into the urinal. Then later that day he wants to shake your hand or you sit
across from him at lunch watching him eat a sandwich, and you just thinking
about that wall.

The Hoverer
This is the woman who squat over the toilet, but doesn't bother to lift the seat (as she would insist a man do when not sitting down). She too lazy to lift the seat and squat over the bowl so the next person isn't forced to clean up her pig urine before taking care of her own business. This women pisses all over the toilet seat, down the tank, and often onto the floor. Then later that afternoon agrees with you about how disgusting the restrooms are since that new girl started.

---