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In a stunning move to avoid false advertising lawsuits, Taco Bell announced today they were changing their advertising to more accurately portray their food. Having been in the cross hairs of a number of attorneys general from 10 different states Taco Bell made the preemptive decision Thursday. Mr. Emil Brolick, President of Taco Bell Corporation, said today, “We don’t want any trouble with the law. First this and then next thing you know they’ll have health inspectors everywhere. Trust me, we don’t want that!”
While it's true that Taco Bell has many loyal customers, even they have seen a decline in the quality of food sold at local restaurants. “I’ve been eating at Taco Bell for years,” said Kathy Hipple, a resident of Shaker Heights. “I still love their food, sometimes it’s even good.” “We don’t have a lot of discerning customers at three in the morning after the bars close. So there has not been a big push for quality control,” says Jason Harding, night manager at the Western Hills Taco Bell. “I’ll bet out of all the food we sell between one AM and four AM only half of it ever gets digested,” said Harding. It will fill you up if you can keep it down. Taco Bell Senior Vice President Jonathan Blum said some of the changes will be subtle and others may be more noticeable, such as the name changes for many of their food items. “We want the name to more closely describe what it is you’re buying,” said Blum. Some of the planned name changes are Enchilada to Ainta-lota, Chalupa to We-dupt-ya, Gordita to Gor-dough-a and Burrito to Bean-tube-o. Many customers are embracing the changes saying if they're going to put just a dab of meat at one end and a glob of soar cream at the other end of a Burrito they’d like to know it up front. When looking at the current menu you would think that one of the combo meals would be plenty. But if you could really see what you were going to get, maybe you’d order two or three. "You’d have to, to get the amount of meat shown in a single taco photo," said Taco bell customer Robert Lynch over a mouth full of Rolaids. Taco Bell’s management has made this move, begrudgingly, for the betterment of their customers. V.P. Jonathan Blum said, “It was either this or charge $4.25 for a taco. Which we discussed, calling it the premium menu just to use the existing menu displays”. We thought we could offer the same food we’re selling now on what we were going to call the classic menu.” The company reviewed several ideas to revamp the menu. They settled on just placing accurate photos on the menu. “Since our employees can't even get the old food right, we knew any change would leave them all wandering aimlessly in the parking lots murmuring, 'sour cream makes it supreme' under their breath” said Blum. In a related story MacDonald's is considering changing their current menu photos, with photos of burgers that look like they have been sat on, to more closely portray their food items as well. By I. M. Wright
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I'd buy one if it were 1/2 a million....
"a match made in heaven" yep!!
It just makes me sick.
Yeah! fuck this shit!
Great read! an so true.